False Self and True Self

The idea of the poser, or false self, and the true self is an important concept in understanding our own identities and how we present ourselves to the world. As Christian men, our hearts are at the core of who we are, reflecting the image of God within us (See Gen 1:27 & Ps 8:3-5). Yet, we are constantly expressing ourselves through either our true self or our false self. It's crucial to grasp this concept because it initiates the journey of self-discovery, where we learn to identify which self is in operation and take the steps to dismantle the false self and reclaim our true selves. This journey is a lifelong process of uncovering and becoming aware of our true identity as beloved sons of God.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24

This verse emphasizes that our former way of life is something we need to put off. This old self, as it clings to us, is the false self. The new self is the true self. The true self is a new creation in Christ that reflects God's righteousness and holiness.

The false self is the image we project to the world that is often based on external factors such as societal expectations, peer pressure, or fear of rejection. It is a façade we put up to protect ourselves from being vulnerable and rejected.

The false self is a mask we wear to hide our true selves from the world, often created in response to our woundedness and brokenness. We allow our false self to protect us from pain and rejection, it is a product of the brokenness and woundedness we have experienced in life. However, it is also much more than just a mask we put on, but a deep-seated identity that we have constructed in response to our experiences.

The false self is characterized by fear, self-doubt, and a constant striving for acceptance and approval from others. It is an attempt to compensate for the pain and rejection we have experienced in life, and to protect ourselves from further hurt. However, this false self ultimately leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled, because it is not who we truly are.

On the other hand, the true self is the essence of who we are. It is the unique expression of our innermost being that reflects our deepest desires, values, and beliefs. It is the part of us that is authentic and genuine.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Psalm 139:13-14

This verse highlights the truth that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and that our true selves reflect his unique and intentional design for our lives. The true self is the person God created us to be. It is the distinctive expression of our personality, gifts, and passions that reflect our intimate longings and desires. The true self is not concerned with impressing others or conforming to external expectations, but rather seeks to live authentically and fully in relationship with God and others.

The restoration of the true self involves a journey of healing and transformation, as we confront the wounds and lies that have shaped our false self and allow God to speak truth and healing into our lives.

Recovering the true self requires faith in the transformative power of God's love and grace in our lives. The restoration of the true self is a lifelong journey of growth and discovery, as we learn to live more fully as the people God created us to be. This journey involves shedding the false self and embracing our unique identity as beloved children of God.

"Thus says the LORD: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’"

Jeremiah 6:16

This verse illustrates the contrast between the true self and the false self. The "ancient paths" mentioned in the verse represent the way that God intended us to live, which is reflected in our true selves. By contrast, the "we will not walk in it" response of the people in the verse represents the false self, which resists God's plan and seeks to live independently of him. We need to seek out the ancient paths and walk in them, rather than continuing to follow the false self. When we walk in the way God intended us to, we will find rest for our souls and experience the fullness of life that God created us for.

The false self and true self are in constant conflict with each other. The false self is driven by fear and self-preservation, while the true self is driven by love and a desire for connection. The false self seeks to impress others, while the true self seeks to be known and loved for who we truly are.

Living from our true self requires courage and vulnerability. It means acknowledging and embracing our weaknesses, fears, and insecurities. It means being willing to take risks and be authentic, even if it means facing rejection or disapproval.

Living from our false self, on the other hand, leads to a life of isolation, emptiness, and despair. We may find temporary relief in the approval of others or in material possessions, but these things ultimately leave us feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from our true selves.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:2

We need to reject the false self that conforms to worldly patterns, and instead allow our minds to be transformed by God's truth and love, leading to a life that reflects his perfect will. Romans 12:2 highlights the transformative power of God's love and grace. As we allow our minds to be renewed, we become increasingly aware of God's love for us and the unique identity he has created us for. This awareness can lead to a sense of peace and rest in our souls, as we embrace the truth of who we were meant to be.

The journey to discovering and living from our true self requires intentional self-reflection, humility, and a willingness to let go of the false self. It involves recognizing the masks we wear and the ways in which we have been conditioned to conform to external expectations.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

In this verse we see that this journey to uncovering our true selves involves a death to the false self and a new life in Christ, where our identities are rooted in him. Ultimately, the restoration of our true self involves a surrender of our ego and a dependence on God for our identity and purpose. As we let go of the false self and embrace our true self, we become more fully alive and able to experience the intimacy, relational integrity, and wholehearted courageousness that we were created for.

This is not a journey to take alone. God will place men in your life to help uncover the false self and discover your true self. This is a transformative trek that will require the support of a community of men. A Community of men who through the study together of the scriptures, prayer and being vulnerable with and open to the work of the Holy Spirit will move you toward uncovering your true self.